Walking in The Shadows

By: Tonya Ross

© August 19, 2019

 

My eyes do not conceal

What’s hidden deep inside

And if my tears could talk

Oh, the stories they would confide

 

Cause all I ever think about

Are the memories of my past

Years of trauma have been my guide

This depression’s here to last

 

To others, I am a broken soul

To be forgotten and left aside

So, loneliness becomes another burden

I must carry with me and try to hide

 

Though in shadow’s I forever walk

With footsteps heavy as they be

To take it one moment at a time

This, is my solemn plea

 

I’m a genius of Self-deprecating art

This is a re-write on an older poem I wrote and posted. It just did not fit my level what I could actually do but I loved the concept of the poem itself. How raw it is in connecting with inner feelings. How the suggestion of being self-aware burns deep within all of us. How change can come when needed most if you have an open mind. I love the re-write and hope you do too.

 

It’s so easy to have self-doubts.
When you’re alone and lonely,
All those negative emotions,
Just seem to find a way out.

The human soul’s such a fragile thing.
Each new experience that comes to pass,
Leaves fragmented pieces scattered about.
It’s pure luck if we get through it without uncoiling.

I am an outsider here.
In this world of delusions,
Happy to stand out yet longing to fit in.
Somehow knowing I would rather, I just disappear.

I realize I’ve built a wall and stood behind it.
Only harming myself as in the mirror I stare,
My demons come from within.
To a new way of thinking I will commit.

For I am my own creator.
The master of my puppet strings.
I have the power to conquer.
To make a masterpiece as the illustrator.

As I learn to control my own mind,
It’s hard to face the truth, all the years of worry,
I’m a genius of Self-deprecating art.
From that career, I am now resigned.

I have stopped the negative emotions.
Slammed the breaks on hard, skidded to a jerking halt.
Reset the destination for life to really start.
I have now earned those promotions.

Mosquitos

Thirsty tiny flying, blood sucking vampires
Plaguing my little neighborhood right now
Clouds and clouds of hungry vicious beasts
Day and night, night and day on the prowl

Parasites of prey piercing for pleasure
Attacking anything that moves or gets in sight
Nothing off limits, sacred, left untouched
In a hungry rage, striking with all their might

Infectious mini bastards, vectors of disease
As they move from host to host
Care not what they’re spreading
One goal on their minds, they remain engrossed

I never thought I would say it
But I’m afraid I must
I prefer last year’s stink bugs
And the smell of disgust

Concrete Walls

The art of destruction
Is something well learned
The sound of me breaking
Has never been heard
So take your many secrets
And hide them really well
Your valentines day is over
You’ve got nothing left to sell

My concrete walls are sturdy
You are never getting in
I’ve learned this lesson early
And I’ll use it till my bitter end.
My bitter end.

Number 18 rebar spaced out just right
My walls the perfect height
So go ahead and take that hammer
and make your many holes
I can guarantee with certainty
My walls will hold

My concrete walls are sturdy
You are never getting in
I’ve learned this lesson early
And I’ll use it till my bitter end.

I remember the story
Of the three little pigs
How the wolf huffed n’ puffed
and blew the first two houses down
Beaming with pride
He boasted and he bragged
Big man on campus
Toughest bloke around

My concrete walls are sturdy
You are never getting in
I’ve learned this lesson early
And I’ll use it till my bitter end.

Well Mr. Wolf
You have met your match
I am the third little pig
And you aren’t breakin down my latch

My concrete walls are sturdy
You are never getting in
I’ve learned this lesson early
And I’ll use it till my bitter end
My bitter end.

 

Mother Earth’s Breaking Point

Like a bridge or building with very distinct weight limits,
Mother Earth cries out under the pressure we place upon her,
Her soil now giving way to massive cracks and sinkholes,
Thunderous storms, floods, and phenomenon occur,
Tears rain down as water, lava, fire, and hail,
Her moods grow impatient as emotions inside her stir,
War and famine cause great divides,
As on her surface, all these things simultaneously concur,
Destruction and devastation amply prevail,
As her very core shakes with demur,
She stands in judgment of our torturous affairs,
Concrete in her decision, she infers.

 

 

 

 

I’m a genius of Self-deprecating art

It’s so easy to have self-doubts
When you’re alone and lonely
All those negative emotions
Just find a way out

The human soul’s such a fragile thing
Each new experience that comes to pass
Leaves fragmented pieces scattered about
It’s a crapshoot if we get through it intact

I am an outsider here
In this world of delusions
Happy to stand out
Yet longing to fit in

I realize I’ve built a wall
And stood behind it
Only harming myself
As the demons come from within

For I am my own creator
The master of my puppet strings
I have the power to conquer
I have the power to succumb

As I learn to control my own mind
It’s hard to face the truth
All the years of worry
I’m a genius of Self-deprecating art

I have to stop the forward movement
Slam the breaks on hard
I must skid to a jerking halt
Reset the destination for life to really start.

Daily Prompt – Simplify

via Daily Prompt: Simplify

Simplify

Reducing down these thoughts in my head
that overwhelm and take control
Self-doubt manifests in daily decisions
Leaving scars to mark my soul

I render my thoughts to the reasons why
I allow this self-doubt to creep in
Pausing for a moment I take a deep breath
Deciding to allow my healing to begin

Casting out the clutter clogging daily life
Using the mindfulness I apply
Breathing easier now as I take on this new life
Amazing things happen when you simplify.

Winter’s Chill

The morning air filled with a piercing shrill,

As Winter’s wind smites the earth with her chill,

Dancing snowflakes plummet from the sky,

People peering out the windows, sigh.

Mother Nature covers the ground with skill,

Rooftops, fields, and roads all foot the bill.

This December blizzard mystifies,

As a swathe of white beautifies.

 

 

 

 

 

Memories

Memories

I failed to take any photos of my yesterday and today as well.
Other than in my head where those memories reside,
I shall have no physical proof barring the stories I tell.
Tucked away ever so neatly in a section of my brain they hide,
I will remember grazing upon them once in a while but never to linger and dwell.

2/7/18 By: Cheynoea

Earthly Beauty (Audio)

cropped-2014-05-11-13-30-54.jpg
Peaceful Reflections

Though I sit here all alone,
In a  peaceful setting
Surrounded by the mornings’ dew
Not an utterance of words will I moan.

This earthly wonder out on loan,
For all here to enjoy
As flora and fauna abound
From Mother Natures gentle hand has grown.

For no such beauty have I known,
The water is flowing
Glistening in the rising sun
This image, in my head I wish to clone.

 

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