How a Pessimistic Mindset Will Kill You

You must be willing to take ownership of your mindset just as if you would take ownership of a new car, house, or any other item you might purchase. Your mindset is a creation of you and will determine not only how you respond to others but how they respond to you.

Do you find yourself thinking about, mulling over, contemplating, and focusing on all of the negativity in your life?

Do you find yourself feeling defeated and despondent, or like the future is bleak?

Do you often remember only the negative events of your past?

When communicating with others, do you only mention your problems or medical issues?

Do people seem to shy away from you or avoid spending time with you? Leaving you feeling alone and ignored?

If you answered yes to any of these questions above, you more than likely have a pessimistic mindset. You see the worse in every situation that you find yourself in, you often have major disagreements with others over minor issues, and you cannot see any positive in your future. You are what others would consider a toxic person. I know that is a harsh statement that will bring me a lot of backlash. Yet, I feel strongly that it needs to be said.

The truth is that this is not entirely your fault. You have had so many negative emotions to events that have happened to you, that you can no longer react appropriately to any given situation or person. You think and act with an emotional mindset.

An emotional mindset is not entirely a bad thing. It helps you connect with others, offers you the gift of compassion and empathy, and gives you a sense of belonging when people come to you for advice. The problem arises when your emotional mindset draws on the negative emotions rather than the positive.

In order to understand, we must first define what a mindset is. defines Mindset as an attitude, disposition, or mood. An intention or inclination. Therefore, a pessimistic mindset is one that causes you to involuntarily respond in a negative light.

Here is the deal-i-o with a pessimistic mindset…

You are creating the very situations that you hate. Now, I know that no one likes to be told when they are doing something wrong. Yet in order to change one must realize how they are in part responsible. You must be willing to take ownership of your mindset just as if you would take ownership of a new car, house, or any other item you might purchase. Your mindset is a creation of you and will determine not only how you respond to others but how they respond to you.

Being pessimistic causes you physical and emotional stress which your body cannot handle on a regular basis. WebMD has a great article on what stress does to your body. I strongly recommend reading this article. This stress will raise your blood pressure which in turn will cause lots of other medical, emotional, and cognitive conditions to arise. The tension surrounding you becomes so thick that you can cut it with a knife. The effects of a pessimistic mindset so closely relate to those of stress, that they could actually be considered one in the same.

Long-term, the pessimistic mindset is not a sustainable way of life. The great thing about mindset is that with awareness, it can be changed and molded into something different, new and positive. It will take a lot of hard work, effort, and practice, but it can be done. You just have to decide that you want and need this change.

Marsha M. Linehan wrote a book titled:  DBT Skill Training Handouts and Worksheets. Originally published in 2014, this book is a great resource to utilize in your journey to creating a new positive mindset. It will offer tangible worksheets and activities that you can do in an effort to improve your way of thinking and break out of that negative mind. It sells on Amazon for right around $30. And NO, I am not getting paid to plug this book. I am recommending it because I have bought the book myself and used it to break out of my old pessimistic mindset. I know from experience that it really works if you truly desire to change your life and will put the time, effort and care into doing the activities.

Once you begin to change your own mindset into a more positive one, more and more people will notice. They will start to support your efforts and show you the compassion you always desired out of them. Others will start to spend more time with you and most important seek you out because they actually ENJOY spending that time with you. Your overall outlook on life will become more joyful in turn causing you to adore, relish, and even savor those happy positive times.

Your focus will stop being on the negative events. You will be able to appropriately respond to life and everything within it including people. You will find that you smile a lot more, laugh a lot more, and gain a lot more overall pleasure from life. This is what you always wanted out of life, isn’t it?

What is the one thing that holds you back from changing your mindset? The answer is YOU! That feeling of fear of change. Of having to make a commitment to something new. The denial that you are causing these negative emotions and events yourself and refusing ownership. The thought that it is everyone else’s fault you feel this way.

No, you did not cause all negative events that have happened to you. But you DID and still DO have the power to control how you respond/ed to them. This is the KEY factor in determining if you will be successful at changing your mindset or not. Take back that control, stop blaming everyone or everything else and actually do something to help yourself. Stop thinking that others can or should step up to help you and do something to help yourself. This is not a statement of blame, it is a statement of concern and compassion. A statement with a strong desire to see you succeed and become the person you always wanted to be.







I’m a genius of Self-deprecating art

This is a re-write on an older poem I wrote and posted. It just did not fit my level what I could actually do but I loved the concept of the poem itself. How raw it is in connecting with inner feelings. How the suggestion of being self-aware burns deep within all of us. How change can come when needed most if you have an open mind. I love the re-write and hope you do too.


It’s so easy to have self-doubts.
When you’re alone and lonely,
All those negative emotions,
Just seem to find a way out.

The human soul’s such a fragile thing.
Each new experience that comes to pass,
Leaves fragmented pieces scattered about.
It’s pure luck if we get through it without uncoiling.

I am an outsider here.
In this world of delusions,
Happy to stand out yet longing to fit in.
Somehow knowing I would rather, I just disappear.

I realize I’ve built a wall and stood behind it.
Only harming myself as in the mirror I stare,
My demons come from within.
To a new way of thinking I will commit.

For I am my own creator.
The master of my puppet strings.
I have the power to conquer.
To make a masterpiece as the illustrator.

As I learn to control my own mind,
It’s hard to face the truth, all the years of worry,
I’m a genius of Self-deprecating art.
From that career, I am now resigned.

I have stopped the negative emotions.
Slammed the breaks on hard, skidded to a jerking halt.
Reset the destination for life to really start.
I have now earned those promotions.

Mothers and Their Children


This is an article I originally wrote and posted MARCH 12, 2015. I am choosing to post it again because it is a subject I feel needs to be heard, an opinion that needs to be said, a life experience that need to be shared. So often in life we feel that what we are experiencing is unique to just us. That no one could possibly understand our turmoil.

Mother’s especially feel this when experiencing their children growing up. I want every mother out there to know that they are not alone. What you experience is a natural progression of the life cycle. So read this article in its entirety. Soak it all into your deepest core. Let it resonate with you until you understand that you have done nothing wrong. You are not a failure as a parent, in fact, quite the opposite. You are a wonderful, kind, caring, nurturing, loving, forgiving, and compassionate human being. Transitions are hard to accept but hang in there, I promise it will get better. I have added a few more thoughts to the end of the original article. Things I had wish I had included in the original. I hope you enjoy!

Now here is the original article

A mother’s love starts the moment they get the news they are pregnant. They give up things their children will never understand or know. Just in order to allow their baby to grow healthy inside of them. They go through tremendous pain during labor. Then lose hours and days of sleep caring for and nurturing their child.

During the growing up years, they teach their children everything they need to know about life and guide them in the right direction. Their hopes and dreams for their children’s success in life burst with possibilities. They worry and fret constantly over dangers or wrong turns their children might put themselves into. They do everything in their power to protect their children from harm and do not wish their children to follow in their own footsteps. Rather they want their children to excel past where they have been able to go.

They hurt when they see their children making mistakes and as the ‘forever teacher’ mentality in them will always exist, they are quick to point out where their children are going wrong. In hopes that it will guide their children back to a place of enjoyable healthy living.

When their children are young, the children count on and depend upon their parents for everything. Making their parents especially their mothers the NUMBER one being in their lives. A bond like no other forms within this little private social grouping of mother and child. The mother swells with joy and the child beams with excitement and wonder in the safety of the confines of their mother’s arms.

The child grows becoming increasingly independent. Forming their own thoughts, views, and opinions based on what they are taught and what they experience while under their mothers’ care. They all too quickly wish to strike out on their own as soon as they are able. Wishing to grow up and ‘cut those strings.’ Feeling confined as time goes on. Even held back in a way, like a prisoner in their own homes. Like a never-ending story, a tug-o-war is set on fire inside them. Once their homes were a place of refuge and comfort as all they sought was their mother’s arms, now the doors and windows are barred in their minds and that refuge is now a bottomless pit of imprisonment as they wish to run far far away.

The children all go through this stage of trying to find their own individual place in this world. They stand confused for an undetermined period of time as the conflict inside of them wages war. It is so hard to run, but so hard to stay! To grow up and take on the challenges of adulthood and all of the responsibilities that come with it. Blaming their parents (especially their mothers) for everything going wrong in their lives. The words “If only you ….. believed in me,” “If you cut me some slack,” “If there weren’t so many rules,” playing over and over in their heads. Planting seeds of distrust and anger growing their desire to step out into the great unknown. Yet not realizing that it is NOT their mothers that have changed, but THEM that have changed. Their mother is still the same loving, nurturing and caring soul she has been since their seed was planted in her. However, instead of loving, respecting and admiring they have a mother that cares about them; they now dislike, disrespect, and even hate their mothers. They have this ill-conceived notion that their mothers should automatically ‘get over’ their protecting nature and allow them the freedom to do as they please. As if their mother’s had an actual superpower that allows them to turn off those mothering traits.

This struggle lasts as long as the child themselves wishes it to last. Sometimes years and yes, it is sad to say sometimes forever! As long as this natural resentment plays a role in this relationship on the child’s part, nothing will change.

However, what is so very important to note is that in a healthy mother/child relationship that is based on a solid foundation of nurturing and love while the child was growing up. After the resentment stage is over, and once the child comes to a point of maturity; a light bulb literally goes off in their minds. They start realizing it was them all along. Their mothers may not act in ways they wish, but they do act out of love and concern. Their mother is still there with open arms to greet them, guide them, nurture them, and most of all love them.

With these changes in place, the relationship can quickly begin anew. Sparking one of mutual love, respect and caring. The turmoil is over, the fight has been won. Just remember mother’s, you must NOT bring up anything to do with the time of separation. You cannot hold your children’s actions against them from this time period. You must be able to cast it aside and be thankful for the fresh, mature, loving start of a new era.

Quesion of the day from Athling2001

The question of the day from Athling2001

What sentences (about anything) have stopped you in your tracks and changed your life?

“You learn more from failure than from success; Failure builds character.”

I know that some variation of this quote has been around ever since I can remember. It is one of those quotes that stand the test of time however very few actually understand it’s true meaning.

I was one of those people that for years, did not have a clue how failure could help me actually succeed in life. Society has a way of molding us to believe that failure is a negative experience. If we fail at something we must be losers, we must not be socially acceptable, or there must be something wrong with us.

We become anxious and noticeably irritable when we fail at something we have tried. Our brains shut down and we begin to sweat. We may even lose control of our wise mind and start acting out in irrational ways due to our emotional responses to failing. We then try to hide our failures from others in fear that we will be judged or that somehow it will become the defining feature of our very essence.

These responses to failure are exactly why I never understood the above quote. If I felt so horribly after failing, how could the experience ever possibly help me succeed? Failure brought down my self-image and self-esteem. I had a closed mind and could not see any benefit from my failures.

The odd thing is, it was my children that taught me to think differently on the subject of failure. Not by intent, but by mere coincidence. You see, I am the type of mother that would encourage my children to keep trying if they could not get something right away. I would support them by making comments like, “Keep trying, you will get it.” or “I know you can do it.”

My son was a daredevil if ever there was one. He loved to climb trees, BMX bike riding, and his all-time favorite was skateboarding. The little town we lived in while he was growing up had a skate park for the kids with ramps and rails. I would take him there all the time. It killed me as a parent to watch him fall over and over again hurting himself in the process. But rather than running up and stopping him from trying, I would make sure he was not seriously hurt then tell him to keep trying and he would get it.

My daughter, on the other hand, is the type that wanted everything done for her. She refused to even tie her own shoes until she was around 10 years old. Every time I would tie her shoes for her, I would patiently use the rabbit ears trick and show her how it was done. I knew that someday when she was ready she would be able to do it on her own. I never gave up on her, got impatient with her or mad at her. I would simply show her how it was done and tell her when she was ready I had faith she could do it. Guess what, when she was ready, I never even had to show her because she knew just what to do.

These are just two examples of how my children’s failures taught me to open my mind to my own failures. How could I be so patient and understanding with my children but so hard on myself? I have always been the type to lead by example but I was not being the example in the case of failures. If I failed at something, I simply gave up. I never tried again. I was sending mixed messages to my children.

This finally dawned on me a few years back when my daughter was about 13 years old. I had asked her to take the trash out. At the time we lived in a mobile home that had a screened in porch with a door to the outside on both ends of the porch. Our trash cans were out the back door and I had a bunch of stuff on the porch because I was trying to fix something in the house or rearrange the furniture or something. I can’t even remember at this point what the reason was for the stuff on the porch. Anyway, rather than going out the front door and walking around the outside of the house, my daughter had chosen to climb the mountain of stuff to reach the back door. In the process of doing this, she knocked into a chair which fell into a window and broke it.

I had no clue what was happening. About a half hour later I noticed she never came in from taking the trash out. So I opened the door and called for her. She came in with tears streaming down and her face all swollen from crying. I asked her what was wrong as my heart sank thinking the worse. When she explained what had happened, I asked if she was okay. Once confirming that she was not injured, I burst out in laughter. I could not help myself, I literally sat there for a good 15 minutes laughing uncontrollably.

Confused, she stopped crying and stared at me as if I had gone nuts. Once I gained my composure, I explained to her that it was just a window nothing more and nothing less. It could be repaired and I was just thankful she was okay. She asked why I was laughing and I had to explain to her that at that moment it dawned on me how absurd we act as individuals when we fail or mess up. I was not laughing at her nor her reaction to breaking the window but rather, at the fact that we humans place undue stress upon ourselves over failing.

Moral: Failure is definitely a teaching moment.

Never Too Old

The last few months have been a whirlwind of new experiences mixed with normal daily tasks that have kept me pretty busy. Along with buying a new house that needs a lot of tender loving care and moving across the state, my daughter has started a new job and I have decided to FINALLY go to college.

Yup, you heard that right. I am officially a full-time college student at the age of 45. It is something I have been wanting to do for a very long time, 27 years to be exact. Life choices, financial concerns, and unavoidable circumstances all combined to keep me from pursuing this dream of obtaining a college degree.

I kept that dream in the back of my mind all these years occasionally bringing it to the front to dwell on it. I would search for information online about various degrees, online courses, different colleges both online and on campus, yet ultimately always deciding it was not the right time or I just could not do it. I had no self-confidence. I was beaten down by years of turmoil, bad relationships, being bullied, and always told I would never amount to anything.

This combination of things I went through over the years caused an extreme fear within me. I feared taking chances on things I really wanted to do. I feared not being good enough, not succeeding, being a failure, how I would look to others, if I would be accepted by others or if what I was doing would be accepted. In essence, this fear became my true self, hindering any forward progress in life. Therefore, I became just what those negative people surrounding me said I would become, a nothing.

With all of the positive changes, my life has been going through over the last few years, the most notable is my mental change. My attitude towards myself. I no longer give value to the negative opinions of other people. I no longer listen to their voices whispering over and over again in my head telling me, “You can’t do that,” “That won’t work,” or “You are crazy if you think you can do that.” Instead, I listen to myself, my own inner voice. I give myself the credit and value I deserve to have and it feels truly wonderful.

I am still fearful of the financial burden that college is going to put on me. After all, college is expensive! I was able to qualify for Pell grants and student loans which I will not have to start paying back until 6 months after graduation. I am still fearful that I am too old to put my new degree to good use and find a decent job after graduation. However, I am not allowing these fears to rule my actions. I am instead, shoving THEM to the back of my mind and I am doing it.

A huge motivating factor in my decision was passing all of my CLEP Exams with flying colors. The admissions rep could not believe that I had no formal training or degrees already because of the scores I obtained. He claimed to have not seen scores like mine. This gave me a huge boost of confidence and has put me on cloud 9 for the last few days.

I have to say, I am shocked at myself for being so excited to embark on this new journey when there are so many unknowns to follow. How many people can genuinely say they are excited to go to school and learn? I don’t fear the classes. I don’t fear the learning, the studying, the time and effort it will consume, or even the grades I will get. I am genuinely grateful for the opportunity to finally accomplish one of my lifelong goals.

That said, I just found out today that now I have to try and come up with a new computer by July 9, 2018, when classes start. I have enrolled in DeVry University Online Full-Time. My computer is 15 years old and cannot run the programs needed to be able to complete these classes. My excitement is dwindling just a bit as I try to come up with a way to overcome this final hurdle which would prevent this dream from coming true.

I have absolutely no idea how I am going to come up with the money for a new computer in the next few weeks. But I will not let it deter me from this lifelong dream. I can do this.


We are not Major Tom & There is no Ground Control

Our human brains are fragile, our thoughts delicate. We bruise easily and the wounds can fester. Scars form providing a protective barrier against further harm. It is when these scars turn into Keloids that we must begin to worry.


There are times in everyone’s life where we feel alone and desolate. Where a dismal reality hits us dead on. Like we are out in space floating in a most peculiar way. Even those who have made the grade can feel this way. No one is immune, protein pills and helmets won’t help. We can feel like we need someone else to take the reins, wishing there was a ground control to talk us through whatever the problem is. To solve it for us.

Or we can feel solace in our isolation. Though the loneliness does not go away, here in the depths of solitude, we feel a calm peace wash over us. Almost like an acceptance of sorts. Our problems still here, our emotions still controlling our minds, but the stars look very different from this perspective. For it is within these cloistered moments, that we can actually find ourselves or inevitably lose ourselves.

Our human brains are fragile, our thoughts delicate. We bruise easily and the wounds can fester. Scars form providing a protective barrier against further harm. It is when these scars turn into Keloids that we must begin to worry. Although not physically harmful, Keloids continue to grow becoming much larger than the original wound. Once formed, Keloids will never go away on their own. They require laser treatment to remove. If we think of these Keloids in the terms of an emotional nature, they too must receive treatment.

It is very important to note here that we are not Major Tom and there is no Ground Control to talk us through, fix, or solve our problems for us. Sure there are Psychologists, Therapists, and counseling options available, pills to consume, doctor’s to see, and classes to attend. Those options are a great start to helping heal the Emotional Keloids. They won’t, however, resolve the underlying reason Emotional Keloids form.

They are temporary band-aids to cover up the Emotional Keloids. They are meant to help encourage us to look deep within ourselves to find the root of the issue. They are stepping stones to bridge the gap and teach us the necessary tools so that the real work can begin. Once we choose to take it upon ourselves to go about finding a long-term solution, we can put into practice the tools we were taught through the band-aids.

The key to our success or failure thereof lies in Mind Control, our ability to control our own thoughts which in turn naturally control our emotions. Admittedly, this is an arduous task most do not wish to tackle, don’t believe can happen, or have just plain given up on. If a light at the end of the tunnel cannot be seen, we freeze according to our fear levels. We fear what is on the other side, the darkness we have to walk through to get there, and the change within ourselves needed to reach our goal.

If we are the type that gives pride a higher value on the scale than knowledge or learning, this task is going to be especially hard. Admitting our faults and humbling ourselves to the fact that we are human will be a critical factor at play in recovery. It is completely natural to have failures. It is completely normal to stumble and fall. And, it is completely common to feel like a fool sometimes.

There is truly no shame in admitting defeat at certain points in life. So why is it that we feel such deep-rooted embarrassment over our weaknesses. We long for acceptance that is why. We feel that somehow if others knew of our shortcomings, they would not accept us, like us or want us around. So we hide our true selves, put our best foot forward at all times. Boast of our accomplishments and take pride in painting a perfect picture of ourselves.

Meanwhile, on the inside we are falling apart. Our Emotional Keloids are growing bigger and stronger each day and soon will completely cover any actual functionality we have within us. The term ‘fake it till we make it’ does not apply here. In fact, it works to enhance our failures growing our Emotional Keloids and preventing healing. It becomes yet another obstacle in our path to overcome.

We have seen this concept in action through some famous people that have lost their fight with these Emotional Keloids. Robin Williams, Mindy McCready, Kurt Cobain, Tony Scott, L’Wren Scott, Chris Cornell, Chester Bennington, Avicii, and most recently Kate Spade. These are just a few examples, there are many more I could list. The point is, it does not matter who you are. Emotional Keloids can overtake your ability to function if you try to hide them or lie to yourself and others about them.

No one can fix you, but you!

Healing starts with a willingness to be open with yourself. To be brutally honest and take steps to truly ponder where your dark thoughts come from, why you have them, how you obtained them, where you place them on the value scale as compared to the positive thoughts you have. Once you have determined the above-listed items, you can truly start to hammer them out of existence one by one.

Each and every day of your life from this moment forward, you must make a conscious effort to control your own mind and thoughts. If a negative thought pops up in your head, give yourself 15 minutes to really feel it, become one with it, let it consume you. Set a timer to go off. After that 15 minutes, you MUST choose to let it go, get rid of it. Picture burning it in your head because once something is burnt, it is gone for good. Then get up and do something positive and happy for yourself. Watch funny videos or something. Anything to get yourself in the right mindset. Soon, you will succeed at having more positive thoughts than negative ones.

You got this!






Our Little Glass

As humans, we have a strong connection to our pets. We become emotionally attached and make them a part of the family. They become our companions, our best friends, our children. We spend thousands of dollars to spoil them, nurture them, and care for them.

This story is about our little Glass. Our champion full of curiosity and gusto, balls of steel and no fear. Yet as loving and kind as they come. Always there to give cuddles, help cook a meal, or just say “Hello” to anyone who he came in contact with.


Glass came into the world breach. My son had to help the poor little guy out of the birth canal. He was a middle kitty, not the first and not the runt. But definitely the smallest of the litter of 4 and a will to fight for life.


He had the biggest, roundest blue eyes I have ever seen on a kitten and used them to scope out the world around him.


Every morning when I would wake up he would greet me on my way to the bathroom and spend some quality cuddle time with me as I prepared for my day. Every evening when I would be in the kitchen preparing dinner for the family, he would sit on the hot water tank and peer through the opening in the wall over the stove. He watched my every move as if helping me to prepare the meal. Every once in a while he would try stepping down onto the stove to get a closer look at what was brewing. I would gently pick him up and set him back on top of the water heater and tell him “NO.” It was a little game to him which I came to enjoy and even laugh at.


Bear our 9-year-old Maine Coon (the big kitty in the above photo with Glass), took an instant interest in Glass. Acting as Glass’s mentor to teach him everything he needed to know about being a cat.  The two became fast friends and inseparable. Glass followed Bear around like a lost puppy. Mimicking his every move. Glass even looked like a miniature version of Bear. Believe it or not, the two are unrelated though the similarities are huge.


 Last night, Glass’s curiosity and natural gusto got the better of him. With those balls of steal I mentioned earlier, Glass decided to jump over an 8-foot tall privacy fence to say “Hello” to the Great Dane neighbor dogs. We were all inside and had no clue what was going on. As we heard our neighbor yelling, we ran outside to see what the commotion was about.

The neighbor had already had her dogs off Glass and was in the process of herding them into her house. When my son got to poor Glass, he was still holding on and breathing. The emergency vet was over a half hour away. So we rushed him straight to the car and on to the vet, calling ahead on the way to let them know we were coming. The poor little guy fought all the way there. We had the forethought to grab a stethoscope to continue checking his heartbeat. Unfortunately, there was nothing the vet could do and Glass gave up his fight.

I do not blame the neighbor or her dogs. She is a good neighbor, her dogs are good dogs. This was the natural order of life. Situations like this happen and there is nothing anyone can do to change them. Animals have natural instincts and no matter how much we as humans try to curb these natural tendencies, it is not possible.

We will have a hard time for a while and nothing will fill the void of our beloved Glass being gone from our lives. However, as I stand in the kitchen, in front of the stove and look into the empty place on top of the water heater where Glass used to sit, the thought going through my mind is that it is important for us to let our neighbor know we hold no animosity towards her or her dogs. That we will all be okay in time. That forgiveness is not needed as no one did anything wrong to forgive.

We will always remember you Glass!

Your Loving Family


Appalled at My Government Policy

I typically stay out of politics. I rarely discuss my viewpoints with anyone. I have no party affiliation and have only voted a handful of times in my adult life. I LOVE my country, I want to make that perfectly clear. But I detest, absolutely detest what my government has turned into. It is out of character for me to speak out in such a manner. However, EVERYONE has their limits of tolerance and my magic button has been pushed.

Whether or not you agree with illegal immigrants coming into our country, I think we can all agree that what our government is doing separating children from their parents is appalling. In a country that claims to hold children in high regard. A country that prides itself on human rights. One that has used such violations of human rights as an excuse to start wars in other countries. I ask HOW can this be happening in our own backyard?

We have members of Congress and the Senate trying to get answers and check into this situation yet cannot get answers. Even they have been turned away. These are our very own voted in officials. The ones meant to represent the American people. The ones we put our faith and trust into when we voted to give them power. Yet they stand powerless.

We have a huge problem. In my opinion, even bigger than the mass school shootings and gun laws being hashed about. It is NO WONDER more and more countries and people HATE the USA!



Even the UN is speaking out against these policies put in place by the US government. In the UN article, I have linked too here, spokeswoman Ravina Shamdasani had this to say, “Detention is never in the best interests of the child and always constitutes a child rights violation,” she said, calling on Washington to “adopt non-custodial alternatives that allow children to remain with their families”.

Here is the asylum law as it is written according to the US Government and posted on their website. In this document, it clearly states that in order to seek asylum in the United States, one must be physically present in the United States when filing. Therefore, ANY asylum seeker has no choice but to enter the country illegally. Furthermore, the document clearly states that “they rarely detain affirmative asylum seekers. These people, according to US Law, are allowed to live in the United States while their case is pending. So why is it that we find ourselves in this current crisis situation?

I will tell you why. Our government is SKIPPING the affirmative process in the immigration law. They are detaining families immediately upon arrival at U.S. Immigration and Customs Enforcement (ICE). Immigrants are coming in, going straight to the ICE Office and turning themselves in. They are doing everything according to OUR LAW!! They request asylum and are then automatically detained and placed into the defensive asylum status. This is or should be of major concern to ALL US Citizens.

Here is a story about a woman who has done nothing wrong. She was granted affirmative asylum with her children then out of the blue, her children were ripped out of her arms and placed in a detention center across the US where she cannot see them and has no clue if they are safe. The sad reality is this story is one of the thousands you can find if you just turn to Google.

You can find a lot of information on immigration as it pertains to children by going to the American Immigration Council website. Of course, none of these documents or websites I am linking to in this article will state how these children are being treated, where they end up, what their actual status is, or if they are safe. Not only does our government hide such matters from us, they ban even government officials from finding out about these children.

It is appalling, just downright outrageous that this is happening on our soil. If there was ever a time for the American people to stand up, band together and fight against such atrocities NOW IS THAT TIME.

We speak out against gun violence in schools and mass shootings. We are concerned about our children and their safety, yet we ALLOW our government to act in such a manner to other people’s children. I am nauseated.

I will be honest, I don’t have the answer. I don’t know what to do, how to do it or even who to speak with. What I do know is that more people need to stand up, take notice and start speaking out. Show them that we choose not to accept such behavior from them.

In my eyes, a government that would enact such policies is a lost government. Anyone involved in such things should be considered criminals and prosecuted to the full extent of the law. Due process should prevail.

We simply cannot maintain any sort of harmony within daily life while things like this are happening right here at home. We must not ignore this or allow it to continue. Asylum seekers come to this country in fear for their lives. They turn themselves into authorities in good faith that they will be given a fair shot at having their case heard. Have we not learned anything from our past history? Are we really going to turn a blind eye to what is going on? Is this really what the American people had in mind when we asked for a change in immigration law?

I will leave you with these last final words.

Character is Moral Integrity. It goes hand in hand with your personal happiness! If you have poor character and treat others distastefully, You will surely be unhappy in life. If you have a good character and treat others well, God will provide happiness in your heart. LOVE is the most precious Gift you can give to yourself and others.




BUT … BUt … But … but …

BUT ...

This one little three letter word carries an immense amount of meaning behind it. 

I would but …

I am overwhelmed.

I can but …

rejection would hurt too much.

I will but …

I hate the thought of it.

It can’t hurt but …

I don’t think I can do it.

I see, but …

you just don’t understand.

When we focus on the BUT, we are focusing on the afterthought which in most cases is the negative in any given situation. It means we cannot see things working out in a positive direction. Our minds are closed off.

If we can somehow manage to leave the BUT out of any given sentence or thought. This alone will automatically change our perspective in the right direction. We will be happier, more focused, and able to reach our goals.

I can …

get that new job.

I will …

overcome any obstacle.

I have …

a positive outlook.

I would …

like to see this through to the end.

I see …

great things happening in my future.

Do you see the concept of leaving out the BUT and what it can do for your thought process? This one little word hinders our progress, holds us back, ties us down, immobilizes us with fear. Most of all it prevents us from being in our wise mind and cements us to our emotional minds. If we know this, why is it we feel such a deep routed need to use conjunctions in our lives? 

We know it is cold outside in the winter. Therefore, if we touch our tongues to a metal post it will stick. BUT … we do it anyway!

I would like to challenge anyone reading this article to a dare. I DARE  you to stop using the BUT conjuncture in any sentence you speak or write for 1 week. Just try it! See how your mindset changes over the course of that week and let me know the outcome.



#Paraoke Contest 2018 – Rose Colored Boy

paraoke rosecoloredboy1

My daughter’s current favorite band is Paramore. So 2 days ago when Hayley Williams announced there would be a #Paraoke contest to win tickets to one of her live shows and/or other prizes, my daughter went wild.



As you can imagine, with a teen in the house, this has been the only topic of discussion for the past 2 days. I am always willing to support my children’s dreams and aspirations. Therefore, I was right there ready willing and able to help her make a video to enter this contest. A mother I may be, but, a cameraman I am not. I think it turned out great. However, I will let you decide.

It would be totally awesome if you all left a comment below letting her know how you think she did. Them Ramen Noodles sure do give her a lot of energy. LOL



In the spirit of competition, I will also be sharing a few of the other videos from this contest. These are the ones so far that, aside from my daughter’s, were imaginative, creative, fun, energetic, or just plain entertaining. There are a lot of great videos that have been made for this contest. I have chosen to try not to include the ones where the person is just singing or lip sinking. And of course, I cannot share them all here.  I think the band is going to have a hard time choosing which one will win. ENJOY!






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