What, NO COFFEE?

No Coffee

To say today was a weird day would be an understatement. I encountered more than a few unplanned events that could have had me curled up in a ball under the covers wishing it would be over. Instead, I faced each new calamity with a sense of humor and an air of calm.  That being said, I am going to attempt to relay the events of the day to you all in a humorous manner.  Be sure to leave a comment telling me if I succeeded in that endeavour.

On any given day we try to plan things out and control the moment to moment tasks we must do. We start by setting our alarm clocks the night before so we can be sure to wake at the precise time we choose. We have coffee pots on timers so that we can jumpstart the day with little effort. We shower, we dress in the clothes we laid out the night before, we check our date books and go through our morning routines like clockwork never missing a beat.

We are like dispicable minions thoughtlessly going though the motions. But what happens if we skipped our night routines? If we wake up late? It’s about as humorous as watching a skateboarder try to land a 360 ollie and landing flat on their bum over and over again. It’s painful and funny at the same time.

Well guess what, that was me this morning. I forgot to turn the alarm on and woke up late. Instead of getting all worked up about my daily tasks running behind, I thought… wow I actually got to sleep in today. Then once my eyes were not glued shut and the gift of site came rolling in. It hit me hard as a hammer hitting a nail, I had to take my roommate to work in less than 30 minutes.

Scurrying out of bed and rushing to the kitchen needing my morning pick-me-up I discoverd there is no coffee. What, NO COFFEE!! This cannot be happening. You know those internet memes with the ladies in their robes half tied, hair going all different directions as if they stuck their finger in a light socket? That was most definately the perfect picture of me standing there staring at the empty coffee pot this morning. Sticking my tongue out like a kid at the coffee pot I gave a half-hearted mixture of a chuckle and a groan in the direction of the countertop it was sitting on, stomped my foot on the floor and turned to see my daughter standing there laughing at what a fool I was making of myself. Shaking my head and bursting out in the most annoying belly roar of a laugh my body could muster, I pointed at my daughter and said, “You caught me.” We must have stood there laughing for at least 3 minutes as if it was the funniest thing in the world.

Gathering my composure and getting back on track (without my coffee), the next few hours flew by without a hitch. Other than being behind in my schedule that is. Feeling as though I had turned the day around I headed out to my next door neighbor’s to drill a hole in her door and install a deadbolt as I promised I would do.

Upon unpacking my tools and setting things up I discovered I was missing my drill attachment to use with the hole bit.  I seriously took every single tool out of each of the tool bags one by one. Nope, still no attachment. Came home searched through the tool boxes here. Nope, still no attachment. After an hour of searching I decided I would just run up to the hardware and buy a new one. Cough cough…$21 for a new one. OMG…

On my way home another neighbor messaged me asking me to leave some money I owed her in her other car at her house since she was not home. She had given me a couple things of essential oils a few days before.  So yes, I did a very very bad thing… once I pulled onto private property I picked up the phone and read her text. I sent a few back and forth with her asking her how much I owed her as I was going down the drive. As I was pulling into the parking spot next to her truck, she texted again and I picked up my phone to read it looking away from the drive. Going seriously only about 2 miles an hour, my foot slipped off the break and I hit her car.

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My perfect driving record of 26 years down the drain in a second. I backed up readjusted and pulled into the parking spot. Looked around to see if anyone saw what I just did and got out of my truck to assess the damage. Thank goodness there was only a minor scratch to her truck. So imagine, her last text to me was to tell me how much I owed her. My response, “OH MY GOD, I just hit your truck.” Can you imagine getting a text like that from a friend when you were telling her how much she owed you. In stressful and nervous situations I start laughing hysterically. I cannot control it. So there I am having just hit her truck with mine, laughing like a nob while I take pictures and text her about the damage and sending her the pictures. Thank my lucky stars no one was watching. Talk about someone misreading or interpreting the situation wrong if they had seen me.

I have to say, she was so cool and understanding. No, like really… no other person would have been so nonchalant. She was like, “So you just scratched it, What about your truck?” This wonderful woman who I had owed money and just hit her truck was asking about damage to MY truck. Of course I took pictures of that and sent those to her too. My truck had a dent along with scratches. Her response again was just one word, “Damn.” Then she joked that she has never hit a car but is great at hitting cement poles. Told me I was good and said that door doesn’t open anyway.  How did I get so lucky to have a friend/neighbor like that. So after putting the money I owed her where she asked me to leave it, I headed home and back to my other neighbor’s house to finish her door.

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This too, was not to run smoothly. I mean seriously, I should have just stayed in bed today. But with a smile on my face I was happy to lend a hand and complete the task at all costs. Armed with the right drill attachment, having measured several times and lining everything up just right I began to drill the hole. I get half way done and move to the other side. My drill starts losing power and running really slow. I was puzzled because I had made sure the battery was completely charged the day before knowing I was working on the door the next day.  I manage to get about 3/4’s of the way through and the drill finally gave it’s last murmuring squelch of life. Well fiddlesticks. What am I going to do now? No drill, holes started on both sides, door wont shut or lock without being finished. No other neighbor’s around that have a drill to borrow. Ugh….Calgon take me away!!!!

Explaining that I have to go charge the battery back up again and apologizing for the delay, I turn to go home head hung low. What terrible luck. What can I do but laugh. At home I pull out the charger and realize I have a back up battery already on the charger oh and guess what, I found the drill attachment I spent hours looking for sitting next to the battery charger. What, how the heck had I not thought of that earlier. How does one forget they have a back up battery? I am totally scatterbrained sometimes. Smiling and giving a shout of joy at the thought of once agian pulling a rabbit out of the hat today, I rush back to the neighbors. I finish the door with a few more minor hiccups such as having to chisel out by hand the place for the face plate. It did not look pretty, but when covered you could not even tell. Door handles and locks work perfectly and my job is finally done. That is reason to celebrate.

Have you ever had days like this? I blame it on NO COFFEE!

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